There are no girls and women who, at least once in their lives, have not experienced deep regret and annoyance about a quarrel with a loved one, which they themselves started. And then they would not rack their brains over how to make peace with the guy, biting their elbows and feverishly figuring out where to start the conversation. Relationship misunderstandings start with minor reproaches, but they lead to serious scandals as a result. Often there are disagreements in couples, which sooner or later lead to a quarrel. Despite the negative component, the conflict contributes to the development of relations, because it gives them dynamism, followed by a stage of reconciliation and reassessment of values.
Quarrels as an indicator of relationships
In general, quarrels are an integral part of any relationship. The question is, what is the nature of these quarrels and how often they happen to you. If these are minor domestic clashes or an overly emotional exchange of views on a topic that is not fundamental and decisive in your relationship, then nothing terrible will happen even if you have disagreements.
However, if the quarrels are strong, repeated often, are protracted, accompanied by insults and spread to various aspects of your relationship, then you should seriously think about whether this is the right relationship. Does it make sense for them to put up?
Whose side is the ball on
It is not always possible to unequivocally establish the fault of the quarrel. To one degree or another, the conflict is the fault of both parties. If the instigator of the quarrel is a girl, then the initiative for reconciliation is behind her. Putting up first is not at all a sign of weakness. Thus, you not only take responsibility for yourself, but also show maturity, do not hesitate to recognize the importance of relationships with your beloved man.
But if he is to blame for the spat, not every girl has enough worldly wisdom, tolerance, and just the desire to initiate the process of reconciliation. But if you show generosity and make it clear that you are ready to accept the apology and start a dialogue, a smart man will certainly jump at the opportunity to mend a relationship.
Take a break after an argument
If you manage to quarrel a lot and break wood, you will have to pause before doing anything. Do not rush things, cool yourself down, put your thoughts in order, and let your partner come to their senses. If you act “hot on the heels”, you run the risk of being unheard and misunderstood or, even worse, rejected.
But it is also not worth dragging out too much time, otherwise your chosen one will decide that you do not need him at all and quarreled specifically in order to break off the relationship.
So what time period are we talking about? According to the recommendations of psychologists – about 4 hours for minor conflicts and at least 4 days for major quarrels, with the exception of breaking up relations. But we’ll talk about this a little later.
While the forced pause continues, work on yourself. Try to achieve inner balance, work through existing complexes and negative qualities and try to get rid of them, and then stop the flow of thoughts and switch to taking care of your appearance.
Think about how to seduce a guy again, with a beautiful hairstyle or spectacular hair color, pamper yourself with beauty treatments and skin and hair care. Make your image even more attractive to touch the most sensitive strings of your lover’s soul, because men are known to love with their eyes.
Let us now examine five ways to make up in a relationship
Method 1: Talking Sincerely and Apologizing
After you have cooled down and analyzed your feelings, try to start a dialogue. Call him and find out if he is ready to meet with you to discuss the situation. Make it clear that you have realized your mistakes and are ready to correct them.
In a conversation with a loved one, you need to be sincere. You should not try to downplay your part of the blame and shift the responsibility for the conflict onto your partner. But it is not worth dramatizing the situation either. Listen carefully to the interlocutor and try to look at the situation through his eyes.
Treat his opinion with respect and understanding. Be patient, let him talk and try to keep his emotions under control, even if you disagree with his point of view. Your task is not to break into a new showdown.
Method 2. Write a letter
Sometimes it can be quite difficult to express your thoughts and feelings out loud. Not all of us are eloquent and persuasive enough. And sometimes you and your loved one are at a distance and do not have the opportunity to talk normally. In this case, collecting your thoughts and writing a letter to your beloved with words of reconciliation will be a good way out.
In general, I believe that the possibilities of the epistolary genre are deeply underestimated in the modern world of electronic communication. By correspondence, if, of course, you manage to draw the interlocutor into it, it is quite possible to determine his mood and assess your chances of reconciliation.
Some girls try to express their regrets via SMS and send apologies like “Sorry if I’m to blame”. This will not work because:
- not the fact that your message will be read at all;
- brevity, of course, is the sister of talent, but not in this case.
I am not saying that you need to describe your “tormenting” in three volumes, but a moderately laconic, touching e-mail with sincere remorse and warm words is quite capable of softening the heart of your beloved and helping to overcome indecision and shyness.
What if he does not write back to you, does not call and does not appear at all? Wait. The time for your decisive action has not yet come.
When writing or talking about an issue that caused an argument, only discuss what is relevant to the situation. Do not recall all the accumulated grievances “from the Nativity of Christ” to the present moment.
Method 3. Give a gift or surprise
Men love gifts and surprises no less than women. Can you guess what will please your boyfriend and give him pleasure? A gym membership, tickets to a sports match, a concert of your favorite artist, an interesting exhibition or an excursion can be just as enjoyable as expensive gifts.
If you’re able to organize a short trip to historic sites for a couple of days or a relaxing spa tour for two is generally ideal, a change of scenery will benefit both of you. And it will be easier to discuss problems in neutral territory.
In my opinion, a cozy, carefully chosen restaurant with good cuisine and intimate atmosphere, where no one will disturb your conversation, will be a good solution. So you will discuss the problems, and you will get pleasure from the meal. Still, do not forget that “the way to a man’s heart is through the stomach.”
You can cook a luxurious dinner at home and invite your loved one to “negotiations” in a quiet home environment. Here you will have the opportunity to show all your imagination and surprise the chosen one with your extraordinary culinary talents.
Save messages on the topic “Honey, we are having a baby” for a more opportune moment. It is better not to use such news as an argument for reconciliation – even in “peacetime” they can shock a man, and even in a state of disagreement, they can even be perceived as blackmail.
Tip 4. Just to remind you of the good in a relationship
It would be much more appropriate to remind your loved one of the wonderful moments that your relationship is likely to be filled with. You can send him a touching collage of your joint photos by e-mail or via social networks. Or invite him to a special place that matters to both of you.
Make it clear to the chosen one that you carefully keep your romantic story in your soul and it is worth it to cast aside your own pride for her and mend a relationship darkened by a disagreement.
Is reconciliation possible after parting in a relationship
Sometimes a spat develops into a major quarrel or, even worse, into a breakup. The reasons can be very different – from a banal misunderstanding, unwillingness to listen to the interlocutor and make compromises to betrayal and betrayal.
You quarreled and broke up, and after a while, sometimes quite long, you suddenly begin to think, is it possible to reconcile with your former lover after breaking up? Maybe. But the question is – is it necessary?
Before you start doing anything, try to distract yourself and evaluate your feelings. Understand yourself and think about why you want to resume the relationship, and if this is a sign of your own weakness and fear of change. Maybe you did not notice how you froze in this hopeless relationship, stopped developing spiritually and generally lost yourself?
Conclusion
Whatever quarrel you have with your beloved, do not panic – almost everything can be fixed. Don’t let pride guide you, but don’t lose your dignity either.
And if it seems to you that all efforts are in vain, remember King Solomon – one of the greatest and wisest rulers of Israel. According to legend, on his ring was written: “Everything passes. This will also pass. ”
And you, dear readers and especially readers, often have to show wisdom and patience in dealing with your loved ones during periods of quarrels? Share your precious experience with us in the comments.
