- Accept the fact that your thinking may need to be adjusted. We all have goals and dreams that didn’t turn out as we expected. We start to wonder what needs to be changed when this happens again and again. We rarely look within ourselves to see if we can make changes.
Our society is based on skills. We are encouraged to learn new skills and improve the ones that we have. This can lead to the belief that more education is necessary for us to reach our goals. Many people return to school. Others take workshops and seminars or read books. They are always searching for the perfect skill set that will allow everything to fall into place,Charles Milander.
Do not get me wrong. I do not discount the value of skillets. But more often it’s our mindsets that need adjustment.
It’s much cheaper and faster to change your mind than to learn a new skill. Step one is to admit that you are going to change your mind set.
- Identify your counter-mindsets. Mindsets are formed from past experiences and emotional milestones. The mindsets that don’t produce the results you desire are called counter-mindsets.
These include self-doubt and limiting beliefs as well as any other negative thoughts that can get in your way of fulfillment.
Each day, we have 65,000 thoughts. The majority of these thoughts are negative, according to most people. These “Automatic Negative Thoughts”, or ANTs, are so common that most people don’t even know they exist.
Example: Do you know that voice in your head that warns you about irresponsible spending decisions when you look at your monthly budget. You might also find it making disparaging comments in your mirror.
That voice is familiar to all of us. This makes it difficult to approach someone you want to meet. This makes it difficult to think about starting a business or changing your career.
We all have different ANTs and we are allowing them to ruin our dreams without even realizing it. It is hard to be positive when the little voice keeps babbling off, saying things such as “I can’t speak to her”, “I don’t know enough,” or “I am not qualified “….”
You can start to eliminate the ANTs from your head by paying more attention to them. You can notice when that voice is utterly negative and how often it occurs. You’ll likely find that your limiting beliefs can be reduced to a handful of key themes. This is an important step, as we cannot change what we don’t acknowledge.
- Flip the switch – After identifying your top negative thoughts, there is a way to stop these from holding you back. Flip the switch is my favorite technique for changing negative thoughts to positive ones.
Every time I looked into the mirror for years, I only saw my flaws. I finally started to practice the opposite reaction, flipping the switch. I would look in the mirror and say, “You look great!”
Although it took some time to adjust, the truth is that negative and positive thoughts don’t always fit in the same space. So I gave my ANTs an ultimatum.
The “if/then” approach is another technique that I find to be effective. Once you have identified when your ANTs are most prevalent, you can use a thought process to think you past them.
Let’s say you want to walk after dinner. But your ANT comes up when it is time to go. If your ANT starts to sound like it’s telling you that you are too tired or too full, or that you won’t lose weight, you should immediately go to the closet and get your running shoes on.
Sometimes, one positive step in the right direction can be enough to put an end to ANTs. Preparation is as simple as creating a list with if/then statements. For more information-transformational life coach in new york.
- Understanding you’re “why” is key. It takes effort to change your mindsets. Habitual patterns are difficult to break. This is especially true because many of our worst habits and counter-mindsets started when we were children and have remained the same since.
It is important to understand your “why”. This allows you to start fresh and decide on one goal or dream that will bring about a significant change. Losing weight. Happier at work Improve your relationship with your partner. Find something that can make a big difference in your life.
It’s not easy to be meaningful if you have to work hard to make it happen.
Write down your “why” once you have identified it. On paper in your handwriting. This is an important step in building your motivation.
- Recognize that motivation and willpower alone are not sufficient – Many people mistakenly believe that willpower and motivation are enough to reach their goals. It’s not surprising that they believe this, as it is common advice from family and friends to motivation gurus or life coaches. We all know that motivation is difficult to sustain, no matter how important it may seem. The latest brain research shows that willpower works like a gas tank. It starts with a full tank but your gas tank is depleted each time you use it. Let me explain: You want to eat healthier and then go to work to find Girl Scout cookies near the fruit bowl. What can you do? You can tap into your willpower to resist the cookies. You’re doing well! Then, you go to the gym after work but decide to stay later to address a customer problem. You are already losing your willpower and you don’t want to follow the original plan. Do you end up going to the gym? It’s not hard to know because we all have had it. These are not always sufficient. They are not always enough.
- You can start small to achieve great things – Although it may seem counter intuitive, this is one of the best ways you can change your mindset and reach your goals. How small?
Let’s try this: One push-up.
Your big goal is to exercise every day. If that is your goal, your smaller, achievable goal is to do one push-up per day. Meditation for just one minute each night is a great way to reduce stress. Your mini-goal may be to have more affection with your loved one.
These examples require little motivation or willpower. Each step is a positive one. Here’s how it works: Set a small goal and realize that you have the power to do more if you want. You will often do more than you think and feel great because of it. You may only do the minimum on some days, but you will still feel great knowing that you have reached your goal. These small goals can make a difference. Because of this, massive change is possible only by small, daily steps that are repeated every day. These small steps create momentum and produce positive cumulative effects. This is what the top 8% of achievers know, but most people don’t try it because they believe it would be futile to start small. Wrong! You are wrong!
7. Accept the “F” word. The steps I have outlined for changing your mindset will help you get more out of life. It is important to realize that it will take hard work. High achievers feel at ease with FAILURE. Most people give up when they hit a brick wall. High achievers know that they can’t stop trying to reach their goals if they quit trying. They are aware that they will face obstacles and fail along the journey. They prepare mentally for failure, which is what separates them and the 92%. They are aware of it coming and don’t let it scare them. They seek out feedback from others and adjust to make it work again.
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